


7. Pain's Water (Wash it Away).

by Corbeau7



Series: You’re the Reason (Better Since You Came Along). [7]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 14:58:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17469749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corbeau7/pseuds/Corbeau7
Summary: Vanessa wishes she could have said more, so she tries again.





	7. Pain's Water (Wash it Away).

Charity: “He taught me that I was worthless and unlovable and I’ve spent my life believing that so guess what, my kids believe that too.”  
Vanessa: “You’ve done your best, that’s all any of us can do.”  
\- May 28, 2018 episode.

 

Vanessa cringed at her response. That was not what she should have said to Charity. In that very moment, Vanessa failed. She failed to boost her girlfriend, offering a platitude that sounded hollow even to her ears. Charity just nodded as though she had heard that before, but it didn’t resonate.

As they left, Vanessa extended an invitation to her home, but Charity wanted to visit Deb.

“Babe, she’s in a bad way,” Charity said, as though she felt like she needed an excuse to visit her own daughter.

Vanessa heard the doubt, and the fear that Debbie was pushing Charity away for good. So, she did the only thing she knew to do; be bossy!

“Charity Dingle. You’re coming in with me for a glass of wine, and then I’ll drive you to the hospital myself.” 

Charity smiled, despite her mood.

“Bossy cow,” Charity mumbled with affection.

Vanessa wanted to hold her hand, and walk proudly with her into her house, but Charity wasn’t a huge fan on PDA. She did the second best, and pulled Charity’s wrist, dropping it before Charity panicked. As she let go, Charity grasped the hem of her jacket, not letting go until they got to the door. Vanessa’s heart sped up at the little display.

“This isn’t some ruse to get me into your bed, is it Miss Woodfield?” Charity’s demeanour changed as the door closed. Vanessa smiled as she walked into the kitchen. Charity stood near the table, watching her girlfriend potter around, and felt an overwhelmed sense of calm.

“Give over,” Vanessa turned to Charity, handing her the wine glass.

“Just sayin’ babe, you were awfully quick to get me here,” Charity smiled as she took a sip of her wine.

“Always in the gutter,” Vanessa shook her head, moving closer to Charity.

“Always thinking of you, babe,” Charity said with a wink, though both woman felt the sincerity that Charity was trying to downplay.

“Sweet talker,” Vanessa kissed Charity on the cheek, trying to lessen the burden on Charity who was starting to look a little wide-eyed after her honesty.

Charity pulled Vanessa back, pulling on her elbow first. As Vanessa moved into Charity, an arm was snaked around her waist.

“Ness,” Charity whispered her plea, hoping the other woman would understand.

Vanessa nodded, and pulled Charity towards her so they were chest to chest. A hand wrapped itself in Charity’s hair and with a gentle tug, Charity’s lips met Vanessa’s. It was gentle, a mere ghosting of the lips, but Charity moaned at the touch. Vanessa felt Charity’s hands squeeze at her sides, almost as it she was trying to hold on forever.

The kisses became more urgent as they typically did when Charity needed to feel as though she was worth something, worth being cared for, worth being important to someone. Vanessa let go, allowing for Charity’s kissing to consume her, consume them both. She loved the feel of Charity sucking her tongue into her mouth, with a level of hunger that Vanessa never thought she’d find arousing. Yet, here she was, pulling at Charity, heart pounding so fast she feared it would take hours to tame.

This is what Charity knew to do. Words, they never really served her like they did with Vanessa. But she knew her body, she knew Vanessa’s. She could express herself in a way that was truthful and raw. Vanessa never admonished her hunger, and in fact, her beautiful little superhero often responded with just as much hunger. At times, Charity wondered if Vanessa’s entry into her life was some kind of mind fuck by the powers-the-be, giving her everything she needed only to later, yank it away in a brutal manner, leaving her unable to pick up the pieces.

“Charity?”

Of course, of course Vanessa could sense her thoughts. This woman was such a powerhouse of compassion, patience and, surprisingly, sass. She never failed to bring some light into the darkest of places Charity had travelled over the decades.

“Just worried.”

“Your family is lucky to have you, Charity Dingle. You show them time and time again just how you are trying to overcome a horrific past, you shower them with love and goodness me, your Mama Cub when someone tries to hurt them? How can anyone think you are nothing but special?”

“You’re probably the only one who thinks that, babe,” Charity said, moving to sit down at the table.

“I wish you’d be allowed to see it to, Charity. Your ability to love even after everything that’s happened to you is quite amazing.” Vanessa knelt in front of Charity, placing her hands on her knees. 

Charity couldn’t help but let the tears drop. For Debbie. For her deceased little boy. For everything Bails put her through, and continues to do so, and lastly, for Vanessa. Sweet, bossy Vanessa who never lets her forget that she’s something special.

“Take me to bed, Vanessa.” 

Vanessa smiled, kissing her hands. 

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” Vanessa asked, concerned. She didn’t want Charity to rely on her body anymore to get things, she needed to be sure Charity wanted this, and wasn’t just doing what she thought was expected after a few kind words.

Charity nodded. She didn’t trust her voice to say too much. To tell Vanessa about her boy. To tell Vanessa how she was feeling. So, she nodded and waited for Vanessa.

“I care about you, Charity Dingle.” Vanessa said as she rose, taking Charity by the hand, up the stairs and into her bedroom. “I care and I am here with you.” She began undressing, while Charity wiped her eyes, the tears still falling. “You are strong. Brave. Amazing.”

Charity began to undress, wanting desperately to feel her girlfriends body against her own. She knew Vanessa was letting her have as much time as she needed, and she was thankful for the understanding, but now she just needed Vanessa close.

“Babe,” Charity spoke, firm and sure. She pulled Vanessa towards her and kissed her with the passion they both thrived on. Vanessa moaned this time, knowing that she was free to express herself. Early days and she would have tried denying just how exhilarating it felt to be the focus of Charity’s attention. Not any longer. Not when her beautiful lover was always so ready for her, always shivering at her touch.

She gently pushed at Charity until she was seated on the edge of the bed. Charity grinned as she saw Vanessa wanted to talk some more, of that she was sure.

“I never thought you’d let me be who I am,” Vanessa whispered, almost to herself. As she ran her fingertips up Charity’s legs, closer and closer, she continued her verbal caress. “Never knew it was who I should be.” Kisses replaced words and fingers. Charity bent back, shuffling up the mattress.

“Babe, you were a revelation, you,” Charity replied, gasping.

Vanessa smiled, and ducked her head, blushing. Charity pulled at her, asking for her to look up. Charity liked these vulnerable moments.

“You are who you should be, babe,” Charity said with a shrug.

“I am when I am with you,” Vanessa admitted, pushing two fingers inside, grinning as Charity gasped in surprise.

“Sneak,” Charity hissed, and began rocking as her beautiful girlfriend sped up and rubbed her fingers past the spot that would make her climax fast.

Vanessa knew Charity needed a quick release and didn’t mind. She worked out most of her girlfriend’s cues by now and wasn’t offended when Charity needed it hard and fast. She was wet, so she was aroused, and Vanessa awed that she was the woman who Charity chose to be with.

“Let go,” Vanessa whispered, not sure if Charity heard. She kept thrusting until Charity did in fact, let go.

“Babe?” 

Vanessa looked up and smiled as Charity smirked at her.

“What?” Vanessa asked, innocently.

“Your fingers?” 

Vanessa continued to gently rock into her girlfriend, fingers still in the warmth. 

“Want me to remove them?” Vanessa returned smirk.

“No,” Charity moaned as Vanessa moved her body down, placing her mouth on her, flicking her clit. “God no,” she added a little breathlessly as Vanessa worked her tongue and pushed her fingers up to induce another orgasm.

Vanessa had always worried about her abilities, she was a nervous lover at first, never really knowing if she was doing enough. The times she had to fake a climax with men was normal, apparently. With Charity, she had never needed to fake it, and never – since those first few times – hid her arousal or how much she wanted Charity.

“Ness, you are quite the tongue twister,” Charity joked, pulling Vanessa up to cover her. 

“Always spoiling the moment, you,” Vanessa winked, slapping Charity gently on the stomach.

Charity laughed, and kissed her on the cheek.

“You are getting too much sass, I blame Chas,” Charity joked.

“Sass queen next to me,” Vanessa countered.

“Oi! I wouldn’t tease the woman who is about to rock your world,” Charity said as she rolled Vanessa onto her back.

Vanessa tucked Charity’s hair behind her ears and smiled.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she said as Charity began to lay kisses on her chest.

*****

The day after, Charity was handed her car keys and umbrella and sent on her way. Debbie getting shot wasn’t really on the list of things Charity expected to be handing right now. Bails, he ruined her life, and she’s been trying to outrun his damage from day one. 

Now Harriet is bringing up the son she lost, the lasting connection to Bails that she wanted to stay buried. 

Vanessa told Harriet that Charity is “not much of a talker,” though as she said it, she knew that it wasn’t the complete truth. She wasn’t hurt that Charity didn’t say anything. She knew things were alright again, but Charity was still spooked after she went to the cops. A secret that big? Vanessa wondered if she hadn’t told her because she was worried what Vanessa would do.

Trust was hard for Charity, and not something she gave out to anyone. Her life had been one defining moment after another; and her inability to control things left her with very little she could claim as hers, and only hers.

She would go with Harriet, but once they found out anything, she’d let Harriet present it to her, and then if Charity wanted to do something, or nothing, she’d support her.

“Come on, let’s go to the hospital,” Vanessa said, putting her umbrella down, determined.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you.


End file.
